Yesterday my Resplendent Bride received her bone marrow transplant. This transplant had been delayed numerous times since November of 2013, and then, there is was. So it goes with life, I suppose. We find ourselves waiting and waiting, and then one day the wait is over. Like the deluge ends the drought. Words cannot express what a happy day of anticipation fulfilled yesterday was. Hope was brought to fruition, and progress felt as though is was being made for the first time in a long time.
Danielle is in high spirits.
Yet we are, as ever, aware that the road stretches long before us. My Resplendent Bride’s transplant is much more like the gun shot signaling the start of the race rather than the checkered flag.
My cherished one is starting to feel the side effects of the prerequisite transplant chemo. She bravely suffers through nausea, vomiting, and a full body rash. Her hands and feet are burning: Ice packs provide some relief.
It is wackyville that we become used to such conditions.
My Resplendent Bride takes it all in stride.
We dustlings do not look forward to suffering. It is not within us to do so. A little water tends to melt a dustling. Yet if this be the case for such a one as ourselves: how ever shall we endure life under the sun?
Before the sun rose, I read John 13.
The Lord Of All That Is and future Crucified Carpenter King leaves His supper, rolls up His sleeves as it were (laying aside His outer garment) and gets to work washing the gnarly feet of His disciples. He washed the feet of His beloved disciple. He washed the feet of His brash disciple. He washed the feet of the doubter, the zealot, the one without guile as well as the tax collector.
He even washed the feet of the one who would betray Him with a kiss.
Perhaps… not the way we would spend our last meal before our execution.
But then, The Lord Jesus always had a style all His own, no?
We are the ones who confuse talking about Him with being like Him.
Any who, how did the Lord Jesus do the things that needed to be done without retreating far within Himself? How did He go on and wash all those feet when everything should have been about Him: especially that night of all nights.
Perfectly rational trust in His Father is how.
John 13:3 tells us the Lord’s mindset before He got to scrubbing: 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist.
Verse 3 says that our Lord knew,
1. All things had been given into His hands.
2. He came from God and was going back to God.
Christian, as you struggle through the dark night of the great loss, the great never was, poverty, disappointment, heart ache, unfulfilled what-have-you… or cancer for that matter, remember what you know.
The renewed life of the mind (Romans 12:1-2) is a powerful source of strength for the Christian. We can either retreat far behind the walls of our minds and become cold hearted and distant, or we can use what we know to find shelter and flourish as we walk with our beloved Savior.
It has been agony to watch my Resplendent Bride suffer so. Often have I been pinned by the dread twins of despair: helplessness and powerlessness.
“But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.”*
Long has the Crucified Carpenter King walked with me. Long have I sat at His feet. To what end did He do so? To what end did I do so?
I picked up a useful tid bit here and there.
Some truth has made its way through my thick skull.
I know that all things have been given to my Lord Jesus.
I know that He came from God (John 1) and returned to God.
I know that He shall return (Acts 1:6-11)
I know that we who hope in Him shall return to Him (John 14).
There are fearsome monsters lurking in the expansive darkness of “what I do not know”, but what I do know is Christ is more than enough lumen to walk by (John 8:12).
Ever onward Christian, through the doubtful mists and fearsome darkness, take another step on this narrow path (Matthew 7:13-14) and remember He who trail blazed it with crucified feet.
You know the way.
* This is a line uttered by Liam Neeson in a movie about an aging assassin whose daughter is, “Taken” from him. Silver and gold has Liam Neeson not, but what he does have he doles out in a fictional murder rampage.